foreground/background

in the foreground:
So glad that the MPRE is over. Who knows how I did, but at least it's over!

I should be writing - have a draft of a paper on biofuels in the EU due in two weeks. Hm, I am writing... but I don't think this counts for my grade.

I'm getting used to using Evernote to keep myself organized. So far I just keep stuff in my head instead of figuring out how to access it from the program. It's just too confusing! But I think I'm slowly getting the hang of the tags, and how I'm going to make it work for me.

in the background:
Lately been thinking about the lenses through which I see the world, or the stories I tell myself. One is that I have to be perfect. Another is that right and wrong are very clear, and I am clearly right. It's been helpful for me to notice when when I get stuck in these stories, because they tend to trip me up (and the people I love) if I don't realize what's going on.

I realized just today that one of my stories is that I'm insignificant and boring. So to get people to listen to insignificant and boring me, I have to rush through what I have to say, or give them not-so-subtle cues how to respond. Hmm... confusing, manipulative, much? Insignificant and boring is not who I really am, it's just the story I have about myself. And since that story is not going to go away, I'm going to be the one to put it in its place. Every time it comes up. This time I'm being confident and creative and expressed. Next time I may need to be another way, and I'll get to that when it shows up.